For Me, The Game Of Pretend Equals Suffering

Yesterday, I released myself from a toxic situation. I am so tired of pretending that everything is okay to appease everyone else. It’s beyond exhausting!

Some people think there is bravery in hiding your emotions and courage in pretending as if everything is dandy and that the world is your oyster. 

Pretend as though everything is “fine”? No thanks. Just hearing the word “fine” triggers a bit of anger in me. How many times did I answer the question, “How are you?” with “FINE”, when in fact, I was far from feeling fine! I quit. I quit the game. The game of pretend is over for me. I refuse to do it. I choose healthy behavior, and pretending is not a part of healthy behavior. I've spent years playing the “fine” game, and it is a really unhealthy game. I understand why we do it. We do it to avoid having to feel the truth of any given situation. We do it to avoid being vulnerable. Most of us have been trained well at the game of pretend. Yesterday, I changed the rules. Many people around me will most likely not be too happy. That’s okay. If they choose to continue playing, that is their choice. For me, the game of pretend equals suffering. I no longer choose to suffer. I chose the path of looking at my life and feeling the pain that was blocking my authenticity. I chose the path of truth. In order to be authentic, we have to feel. We have to be real with the emotions that come up in our lives.

In this situation, I will most likely be viewed as the person who "rocked the boat"  And really, “rocking the boat” to me just means I started speaking up and saying what is true. I think of this as a positive thing, but not everyone will agree. Some are not yet willing to own their actions. But that doesn’t mean I am going to stop saying what’s true for me. And it doesn’t mean I will go back to pretending all is well. 

I have to take care of myself. I will allow people in my life who are authentic and respectful of the real me. They love and support me for who I am. They encourage me and lift me up. They show up for me in ways that I never thought possible. 

Pretending is a strategy that won't effectively solve your problem. Some people believe mistakenly that by pretending, or ignoring issues that need be addressed, everything will work out. The maxim fake it till you make it, if you will. Or, the idea that if you just act positively and think positively all will be well. Most of these situations stem from our tendency to avoid pain and discomfort in the moment. We don’t want to do the difficult work that is required to have happiness. Unfortunately, happiness doesn't result from living a life where we have constant pleasure, but from thoughtful and intentional choices and lifestyle. 

Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice and move forward. ✞ 

Blessings,

Dalinda

Take Time To Pray

God's been teaching me a lot about His strength in the past few years. He's been showing me that so often we go at it backwards. When you want to be first, you need to be last. When you want to be at the top, you need to start at the bottom, and when you want to be strong, you must admit you are weak. Only then can we create room for God to work in us and FOR us. ✞

Blessings,

Dalinda

Let Jesus Take The Wheel

Sometimes we allow stress and fear to take the wheel, even though we know better.  The Word reminds us that “The Joy of the Lord is our strength”.  This doesn’t just mean in the easy times.  This is at all times. He promises to meet us, even in those times that seems like we are alone.  When we give our burdens over to Him, we too, can sing praises in “our jail cell”. 

If you are believing God for something don't put Him in a box, let Him take the wheel. Ask according to HIS will and watch Him bless you above and beyond!!!

Whatever it is that you are believing God for, He is able to give you far MORE than you can possibly imagine.  Too often we pray for such and such and God is wanting to give us more.  I think all too often we put a limit to our blessings because we see with finite minds when God sees infinitely! 

Blessings,

Dalinda

Are You Feeling Defeated And Discouraged?

In this life, we all yield to something. We give way to pressures or duties or calls or desires, but we all give way to something. 

Sometimes we lose our perspective, we get defeated and discouraged. We order fattening pizzas and awkwardly burst into tears. And so God uses His Word and the encouragement of others to get us back on track to remind us to keep doing the things He has called us to do.  

It is obvious to me at the moment, that God wants me to be patient. He wants me to have a better attitude in the waiting. He wants me to inhale, exhale, and praise Him and show faith by waiting with a heart that KNOWS the Lord will not let me down. He wants me to exude patience! He wants me to "talk" and "walk" faith in the waiting. 

Thank you, Father, for doing the most remarkable things, in spite of my very unremarkable faith. ✞ 

Blessings,

Dalinda