Sometimes I Need Reminders

For me, today has been one of those days where I needed a double shot of faith.

Our faith is incredibly important to God so much that He will take everything away so the only thing we have left to stand on is our faith in Him to show us that is all we need. Faith that He will keep His word even when it looks like nothing is happening. Faith that He has a plan even when your life goes completely off the rails. It is hard, incredibly hard to keep the faith when the silence is so loud; I get that, oh my goodness do I get that.

Wow! Now that I'm over my itty bitty, thyroid induced, pity party I can give you all an update on my first appointment of the week. I'm guessing you can already tell how it went. I've been a little down in the dumps today. Number one, it's the 6th anniversary of my mom's passing. And Number two, let me just go ahead and set the stage on how my appointment went this morning. It was like I walked into the doctor's office with my hair on fire and the doctor said, sorry, but I'm not going to give you any water to put it out. I mean really, my thyroid antibodies are sky high and I found out that my thyroid is in the hyper mode now vs the hypo mode. It continually goes from hypo to hyper. When they first diagnosed me with Hash's in 2007, my TSH was 111.65. Today my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was .068 and the normal range is between .045 and 4.5. My T4 was high also. It's always been on the high end. I am currently taking 100 mcg of Synthroid but my doctor would not adjust my Synthroid dose. I mean REALLY??? I have lost my peripheral vision in my right eye. I still have pain in my eye, head, neck, shoulders, arms and back.- I have had an unspecified rash for almost three months now.- I have swelling all throughout my body, but especially in my face and neck. - I am constantly tired! - I have tremors in my hands and arms. I lose approx. six pounds when my inflammation is not so bad. My doctor is aware of all this but does NOTHING!!!!! She just says to get a second opinion on my eye. And says that she will probably adjust my Synthroid dose next time.....next time being in 7 weeks.....Can you tell I'm frustrated?!?!

We learn what faith really is when the only thing we have left is Jesus, when we are stripped bare of everything and realize how little we have to offer, and the only thing we have left to hold onto to is our faith that our God is bigger than anything this world can muster up.

God has definitely challenged me to trust Him fully, and to watch and wait for Him to move in His timing. Jesus is reminding me that difficult times should not steal my joy in Him. Satan is the one trying to do that. A good friend of mine, Kristin, reminded me of this tonight as well....."Dalinda, as I read your words this was instantly clear: Because you are such a loving and Godly woman who praises God all day every day, and you share your testimony with all of us....the devil is trying to discourage you to take your focus away from God. He's trying to hit you when you're vulnerable and what better time than when you are at a "trusted" doctors office desperate for answers. I certainly agree with Jody about getting a new endocrinologist - it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see that your fluctuating thyroid levels need attention. I'm so sorry for this setback but confident that an answer is just around the corner. I'm always praying for you sweet friend."

Despite what we are going through, despite our circumstances, we need to have joy through it all. My life, like yours, is shaken to the core sometimes. But I know as long as I stay close to Jesus, I will be okay. But sometimes I need reminders!

Blessings,
Dalinda