Seven years ago when my Mom was diagnosed with Endometrial cancer, my world and my Dad's world felt like it was coming to and end. Mom fought the cancer for sixteen months. During those sixteen months I witnessed her pain and her fragile little body slowly deteriorate. This was undoubtably the hardest thing I ever had to go through in the 35 years of my life. I struggled to stay strong for my Dad. I was an only child so I didn't have any siblings to share in the responsibilities. I also had a husband and two young boys to care for, which made it extremely difficult. Dad had been diagnosed with Parkinson's disease and I knew sooner or later I would have to search for an assisted living facility for him to live. He put up a fight about this because he didn't want to leave his home that he shared with my Mom for 45 years. I can't much blame him.
After several falls, Dad finally agreed that he needed to go somewhere that could assist him in his daily routines of living. Ten days after he moved, Dad had a major heart attack. Upon arrival at the emergency room the doctors told me that they thought he had had a stroke along with the major heart attack and that he wasn't expected to live longer than 48 hours.....My heart sank! I had just lost my mother 2 years before this and how in the world could I manage losing another parent in such a short time. I was pleading with God, why me? I got down on my hand and knees and prayed. The next morning the doctor met with me and said that things weren't as they seemed. I asked him what he meant by that. He said that Dad did not have a stroke, his kidneys were no longer failing, but he did had a major heart attack that caused damage to his heart. He wasn't sure how long he would live. I was praising God because He had given me more time with my Dad. No matter how long it was, it was more than 48 hours.
He lived for sixteen months, just as my Mom did. During these sixteen months I watched him struggle to breath, I watched his fragile little body slowly deteriorate. I was reliving my heartache all over again.
My Dad passed away two years ago tomorrow.....December 7th, Pearl Harbor Day. My Dad was in the Navy and was stationed at Pearl Harbor so I thought this was kind of special that he passed on this day. And my Mom passed on December 10th, 6 years ago. They both went home to Heaven in the month of December, just before the celebration of Jesus' birth. Wow! What an awesome God we serve.
In our own pain and frustration, there are times when our eyes don't see the beauty God sends. But if we'll ask, He'll show us. God is faithful to build us up with everything we need to serve Him with joy.
Seven years ago, I would have never thought that I could give thanks and praise God for allowing such heartache in my life. I have lost my Mom to cancer and my Dad to heart disease during these years, and am now battling health issues myself. But these years have been the most spiritually beautiful and enriched years which I have experienced in my entire life!
I realize now that I have an amazing testimony of God's hand in my life....that testimony says to trust God and have faith that He knows what is best for your life, even when it doesn't make sense. Because it doesn't matter what happens to us, but what happens in us.
Blessings,
Dalinda
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